Friday, July 03, 2009

who am I?

for the last three years, a large part of my identity has been found in my job, my ministry. I was pastor of a really amazing, innovative church that is breaking new ground and doing some things that will influence both church and culture.

Now I'm unemployed. I'm not looking for pity. I mean, I'm sitting next to a window in Burlington, WA, looking out on a beautiful back yard--trees, sunshine, flowers, while the rest of my family naps. It feels good to not have the stress I've been feeling for a while. It's great to be on vacation.

I am excited to get busy with school and look for some work that is low-stress. I'm also eager to spend more time with God--listening, praying, reading and writing. Anyone in ministry knows what a challenge it is to keep a healthy, intimate relationship with God.

I've done OK over the last three years, but not as well as I'd like. I'm looking forward to slowing down, spending some time in silence, and getting more dedicated to writing.

I'm also trying to lose some weight. I used to umpire high school baseball in Texas; I'm planning to get back into it (it's great part-time money and a lot of fun). I got out my old gear the other day and realized I need to order new pants or lose about 15 pounds fast.

So 5 days ago I went on a fast from sweets (I'm addicted to chocolate). No cookies. No ice cream. No candy. this is really hard---I can be stuffed after a meal, but don't feel like I can stop until I've had something sweet for dessert.

Yesterday we were out sightseeing and stopped in a little cafe on a river. Everyone else got ice cream; I had some cherry tomatoes. I feel lighter already.

I started off talking about identity. Since resigning my church that feels more complicated. I'm not a pastor anymore. I am a husband, father, student, writer, umpire, friend. seems like a pretty good list to me.

If you're still with me, thanks for reading as I did some self-therapy today. I hope you are well.

1 comment:

Jenn said...

Hi Todd,

Just letting you know that Brent and I are praying for you in your time of transition (metamorphosis?). Everyone goes through these times, but they can be heavy times man. Keep your chin up and know that we are here for you.

Peace and Blessings to you and your family!