too much death

We're in Washington on an unexpected Christmas trip. Jamie's best friend Kimmi died of a heart attack Monday; we flew out here for the funeral and to be with Jamie's family and friends. To top it off, Jamie and I are both fighting colds. I'm going to lead the funeral service tomorrow. Should be a good service, very casual and conversational. Rick, Kimmi's husband, wants it to honor and celebrate Kimmi's life.

I knew Kimmi a little; but she and Jamie had been best friends since childhood. Jamie is devastated. I've never seen her hurt so much, yet she is still so strong--caring for her family, her friends, helping however she can. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful wife.

I'm going to be honest--I'm sick of death. I'm tired of funerals. And deaths like these--far too early (Kimmi was 36, a wife and mother of a 3 1/2 year old son)--really are deflating. There's nothing to say, no answer to why. Nothing to do except cling to those we love and try to get through the grief together. I know God is here in the midst of this, but it takes more work to see it. Part of my role tomorrow will be to help others try to see that He is here, and cares...I know it, but don't feel it much now. I need some time to just be with Him, and let Him comfort and love me.

One of the bright points has been Brady. He was amazing on the trip out here; never fussed or cried on the plane. He is such a blessing. We are missing Ashley like crazy; she is at her father's for Christmas.

It has been good to see family out here--Jamie's mom, dad and step-mom, sister Linde and her husband Chad. In the midst of grief I am so happy to be with all of them for a few days. If you're a praying person, please pray for Rick and Gabe, for Jamie's and my health, and for good time with family. Thanks!