Breathe

I haven't written in a few weeks; just been really busy, and a lot going on with decisions we have to make for the future. I can't really say a lot now, but I needed to write, just to get some things out there.

Too often, it's not until I get into stressful situations that I realize how lazy I have been in my relationship with God. My journey over the last 10 years has taken me to a place where I have a lot of questions these days, where I wrestle with things rather than just find an answer.

Why is this happening? What is God doing? What should I be doing? How do I make this decision? ... these have been running through my mind for the last month.

I'm trying to focus on the "What is God doing" question, specifically in the present. Not wondering about the decision I need to make next week, but what I need to do today to move me toward that.

What do I need to talk with my wife about at this point? How can I best love her and value her and learn from her, with where we are today? How can I best love and teach my kids today, especially when I'm stressed and short-tempered?

How can I breathe, relax, let go, and be myself; trusting God for today?

Simply pausing long enough to write this out helps. As I often do when stressed (and now is one of those times--big time), I ponder the good: an amazing family that blesses me every minute of every day, a job I love going to (even though it's short-term, I love it today!), baseball, friends, a great network of people praying for us and supporting us, weddings (I had one a couple weeks ago, and another this weekend), sports to watch (Go Mavs!), books to read (Dallas Willard's The Divine Conspiracy), good TV (watching Rescue Me on Netflix).

Next week may be stressful; heck, tomorrow will probably be. But today I'm enjoying all the great things in life, and trying to give tomorrow to God.