today was one of the roughest days I've had since becoming a pastor. One of our friends who has worshiped with us several times sent an email with feedback on last night's worship. Most of the feedback she has given in the past has been very positive; but this one was extremely negative, from start to finish, and most of it was about me.
I tend to be very sensitive, and was exhausted after working all weekend; so the email hit me pretty hard. I let myself feel the pain of being harshly criticized for a while, then tried to evaluate the criticism. Much of it was founded. We evaluate our worship honestly each week, and I was thinking some of the same things. We had a discussion about wisdom; and the discussion never really moved beyond pat, "churchy" answers. Not what we wanted; but we were not prepared enough to go where I would have liked to take it. That's our fault, and I know we'll learn from that.
I think what was hardest was not the criticisms, but the way they were presented. Email is tough; you don't see facial expressions or hear someone's tone of voice. It was also hard because there was nothing positive, just one negative after another. It's always easier to take criticism if there is some encouragement as well.
It also hurt because this is a person I genuinely like. We've had a few conversations that I really enjoyed; and I have been looking forward to growing a friendship. I hope that will still happen. I also hope they will not be put off by this experience. I say all the time that worship is different week to week; I hope they will give us another chance!
1 comment:
Ugh. This is terrible but something that happens. It hurts, and shared with you via email was not the best format.
(( Todd )) -- prayers headed your way.
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