Wednesday, June 17, 2009

the funniest show you've never seen


Mr. Deity is an amazing web show--really one of the funniest things I've seen--better than most of what you see on TV. Brian Keith Dalton, the creator, writer, director and star is hilarious.

Now, those of you who don't like your Christianity to be the subject of comedy may be offended; but the show does make you think, and raises some good questions.

Mr. Deity just began its third season. Brian and his cohorts recently began a second show, Words, that is as funny as Mr. Deity. You can check them out through the website or subscribe on YouTube.

Monday, June 15, 2009

important announcement--transition time

Below is the announcement I made at Convergence last night:

The past three years have been a wonderful journey--I am honored and grateful to be a part of such an amazing community. My family and I are at a time of transition, and believe this is the time to step out of my role here at Convergence.

I am resigning as co-pastor effective June 30. There are several factors that have influenced my decision--please know that none of them have anything to do with the people of the Convergence community. I love each of you and hope our friendships will continue.

Living an hour from Convergence is a huge challenge. We had hoped to move closer, but the economy has made that impossible. Because we're so far away, it is difficult for my family to be as involved as we would like to be. We hope to find a faith community closer to home where we can all be involved.

My primary ministry gifts are teaching and pastoral care. While those gifts have helped us build a healthy sense of community, they don't match as well with what Convergence needs to grow and increase its influence, and we all want what is best for Convergence.

From the beginning, we knew Convergence would be a community marked by innovation, change, and experimentation. I am confident that the staff, the advisory team and the trustees will work together to create an effective plan to move forward and achieve even greater success through this transition.

As hard as it is, this is what is best for my family, and I think this will be a positive for Convergence as we strive to involve more people in leadership, and continue to multiply people and ministries.

My focus will shift to completing my Master of Divinity degree at the Leland Center for Theological Studies next year. At the same time, my family and I will be praying and looking for the next steps in our journey.

I will miss being at Convergence, and will miss the people here tremendously. I am grateful for the ways you have supported and encouraged me over the past three years. I want to thank Lisa, the advisory team and everyone in the Convergence community for their support and encouragement.

I'll be in the office most of this week if you would like to stop by. Next week I will be in Grand Rapids, Michigan, representing Convergence at the Calvin Institute of Christian Worship Symposium.

June 28 will be my last Sunday; I hope it will be a time of celebration of what God has done and what God will do in our lives and the life of Convergence.

Thank you for the opportunity to be a part of such a wonderful endeavor. I will always cherish the relationships and accomplishments of the past three years, and will pray that Convergence continues to break new ground and make a positive impact in our community.

Sincerely,

Todd Cullop
tcullop@gmail.com
703-599-0532

P.S. After June 19, please send all Convergence communication to office@convergenceccf.net. You can reach me at tcullop@gmail.com.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Stories Seldom Told

Stories Seldom Told
by Bud Hensgen


I participated in SPARK recently--an artistic project where writers and visual artists pair up and create work inspired by one another.

My friend Bud and I worked together. Above is his original piece, Stories Seldom Told. Below is the poem I wrote in response.

I.
My life is messy.
Sometimes it feels like I’ve accumulated
a century’s worth of memories in half that time.

Those memories are contained, ordered,
like stories on a page.
Sometimes I read them, and let my imagination take me back,
carefully.

But on occasion they jump off the page, and come alive,
and suddenly they’re reading me.
It’s frightening, and a little fun
as they surround me and fill me.

I relive the embarrassing moments;
the times I felt famous
or ashamed
or loved.

The truth swirls and flows and is hard to get hold of.
What happened blends with what I wish happened,
or what I fear happened.

I remember the feelings more than the events.
I see the faces of the characters
but often can’t remember their names.

Imagination picks up where memory leaves off,
And the stories grow over the years.

I want to keep my life, my past, my story
neat and linear:
”Look how I’ve grown through the experiences!”
All of it working step by step to create the man I am today.

As if my commendable resume reflected my actual life.
As if I were the man others see.

But who I am today has little to do with orderly growth.
It’s from a lifetime of mistakes, failures, blunders;
with occasional victories that I fell into more than I orchestrated.
Blessings that I don’t deserve.

My good choices have multiplied.
My poor ones minimized.
I’ve been damn lucky.

II.
In all of this mess and marvel of my life,
there is one memory, one story
that I keep fighting off.

I try to beat it away.
I run and hide.
I beg and plead.
I fill my mind with anything else I can think of,
But sooner or later, it always comes back,
big and cold and blood red.

So I remember.
I cry and confess and pray to forgive myself.
I lie there, empty and weak
as my tears carry the weight away.

The story is still there, but it’s a little lighter.
It lets me breathe.
I look through it and around it at the rest of my life,
and see the beauty and joy that have come since.

The pain I feel is more like a punch in the gut
than the complete beating it used to be.
And I can live with that.

I don’t want it to go away completely,
for as much as I hate that story,
it is mine.

I can’t wish it didn’t happen,
because without it, I would not be.

So I keep my story, deep down, seldom told, but always there.

Monday, June 01, 2009

my first poem in like 30 years

I wrote this for SPARK; a really cool partnership between writing and visual arts.


Dad’s Hand

I sit beside his bed,
not looking at the tubes pumping artificial life into his body.
I reach out and hold his right hand
once full of strength, now still and soft.
I wrap my hands around it, and remember
this hand that has so shaped my life.

I was no more than a toddler, walking through a green park,
holding my arm straight up so my hand could reach his.
He lifted me to his shoulders, on top of the world.
The height scared me, but I knew I was safe,
his powerful hands wrapped around mine.

A few years later those rough, tanned hands taught me the manly acts
that he said I must learn.
Throwing and catching, sanding and hammering,
shooting and fishing and building a fire.

But as I grew older, those hands turned on me.
They pounded tables and threw things and backhanded me.
I began to fear the hands I once adored,
and soon I wanted nothing to do with them, or the man.

He pushed me away with his hands and his heart,
And those hands became a memory.

But as we both grew older, we learned to give and receive forgiveness,
and start again.
A letter here, a conversation there, an awkward visit at Christmas.
I no longer feared those hands, or the man.
And with a second chance, I learned to love him, and his hands, again.

He was not affectionate, but I hugged and kissed him anyway,
and in time he hugged me too, those strong hands around my back.

Those same hands held a Bible as he read about love in my wedding.
They played with my daughter as he learned to be a grandfather.
They unwrapped presents as we spent his last Christmas together.

And now I sit in this bright room, with that clean but unpleasant hospital odor.
I realize for the first time that our hands are the same size.
Now I’m the one holding his hand in mine,
hoping for movement, but there is none.

I talk about the memories—hunting, camping,
baseball games and beach vacations;
drinking Dr. Pepper from tall glass bottles.

“Don’t be afraid, Dad,” I tell him. “I’m here, and it’s OK.”
I kiss him and touch his face and squeeze his lifeless hand.
And then his hand moves in mine, his fingers reaching out.
It’s a tiny movement, his last, but it’s everything.

God and Country?

Thomas Nelson publishers has a new Bible: "The American Patriot's Bible."

Jim Evans has a great story on this. Here is an excerpt:

Billed as "The American Patriot's Bible," the Nelson folks have put together a volume of the Bible that presents Scripture in the context of American history. In a promotional piece, spokesman Richard G. Lee wrote, "Joining with the sacred text are stories of American heroes, quotations from many of America's greatest thinkers and beautiful illustrations that present the rich heritage and tremendous future of our nation. If you love America and the Scriptures, you will treasure this Bible."

The pages of this new Bible are also filled with pictures celebrating America's military history. In fact, according to one critic Kaylor talked to, it was shocking to see pictures of military activity featured at the beginning of the Gospels.

Greg Boyd, author of "The Myth of a Christian Nation" and also senior pastor of Woodland Hills Church in St. Paul, Minn., said, "When you consider the uniform and emphatic teaching of Christ and the New Testament authors that followers of Jesus are called to love and do good to our enemies, laying down our lives for them if necessary, this overt celebration of America's violent victories over our national enemies is absolutely stunning."


Greg Boyd, mentioned above, wrote a great blog post about this.

Thoughts anyone?

Saturday, May 30, 2009

rough week

just realized it's been a couple weeks since I wrote. This past week was the third most difficult week that I can remember. (1 was the week my father died after a 10 day hospital stay, 2 was the week I decided to leave Texas in 2002).

Can't say much now--more info in a couple days...but it was a rough week. Lots of prayer, conversation, seeking counsel, looking back, looking ahead, asking questions...

I haven't slept well, haven't eaten much.

But the one solid (besides God--and he and I are still wrestling through some stuff) has been my family. Jamie has been wonderful, and my kids give me more joy than I ever imagined possible.

Home has really been a place of safety and love; and I am so thankful for that!

Today was particularly rough--I dreamed of my father last night. Dad died 5 years ago--I can't believe that much time has gone by. In the dream I was with him. I remember knowing that it was a dream, but that was OK, because in the dream I could talk to him, and hear his voice, and touch him.

I miss my dad. I wrote a poem about him recently; I'll post it soon.

tonight, however was pretty great. My friend David hosted a party, inviting his Convergence friends and friends from other circles in his life. It was a great time; got to meet and talk to some really neat people. thanks David!

if you're still reading, thanks for checking in.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

President Obama's address at Notre Dame

Following is a transcript of President Obama’s commencement address at the University of Notre Dame on May 17, 2009, as released by the White House:

Well, first of all, congratulations, Class of 2009. (Applause.) Congratulations to all the parents, the cousins -- (applause) -- the aunts, the uncles -- all the people who helped to bring you to the point that you are here today. Thank you so much to Father Jenkins for that extraordinary introduction, even though you said what I want to say much more elegantly. (Laughter.) You are doing an extraordinary job as president of this extraordinary institution. (Applause.) Your continued and courageous -- and contagious -- commitment to honest, thoughtful dialogue is an inspiration to us all. (Applause.)

Good afternoon. To Father Hesburgh, to Notre Dame trustees, to faculty, to family: I am honored to be here today. (Applause.) And I am grateful to all of you for allowing me to be a part of your graduation.

And I also want to thank you for the honorary degree that I received. I know it has not been without controversy. I don't know if you're aware of this, but these honorary degrees are apparently pretty hard to come by. (Laughter.) So far I'm only 1 for 2 as President. (Laughter and applause.) Father Hesburgh is 150 for 150. (Laughter and applause.) I guess that's better. (Laughter.) So, Father Ted, after the ceremony, maybe you can give me some pointers to boost my average.

(Read the rest here)

Sunday, May 17, 2009

snarky thoughts on worship (sorry)

From a friend's facebook on a Sunday morning:

"The band is rocking over 100db today. I love it. Can't wait to see what else God brings today."

Does this seem kind of bizarre to anyone else? No offense to my friend--he and his church are doing incredible things. I used to love the type of worship that they are doing (and I'm sure God did do some great things in their worship).

But I think that "worship" in many churches has become not much more than a rock concert with songs about God, paired with a message that helps us live a better life. There is a sense that worship happens when we rock it out, and sing songs that lead people to emotional highs (or lows).

I'm also concerned that if you don't play an instrument or sing; there is no place for you in worship. think about that. somehow we've created a system where in churches of hundreds of people, with hundreds of gifts, only a few of them are invited to do more than watch and listen and sing along (in an atmosphere so loud, they can't hear themselves).

I don't mean to complain. We don't have it all figured out, but we're trying to expand our understanding of worship so that everyone can participate. We're learning that this means worship looks radically different, and takes a lot of work.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Mothers Day poem--Billy Collins

I know I've posted a couple Billy Collins's poems recently; but here's one that is perfect for Mothers' Day (or the day after Mothers' Day). It's also great to hear Billy reading his own work.

"The Lanyard" - Billy Collins

The other day I was ricocheting slowly
off the blue walls of this room,
moving as if underwater from typewriter to piano,
from bookshelf to an envelope lying on the floor,
when I found myself in the L section of the dictionary
where my eyes fell upon the word lanyard.

No cookie nibbled by a French novelist
could send one into the past more suddenly—
a past where I sat at a workbench at a camp
by a deep Adirondack lake
learning how to braid long thin plastic strips
into a lanyard, a gift for my mother.

I had never seen anyone use a lanyard
or wear one, if that’s what you did with them,
but that did not keep me from crossing
strand over strand again and again
until I had made a boxy
red and white lanyard for my mother.

She gave me life and milk from her breasts,
and I gave her a lanyard.
She nursed me in many a sick room,
lifted spoons of medicine to my lips,
laid cold face-cloths on my forehead,
and then led me out into the airy light

and taught me to walk and swim,
and I, in turn, presented her with a lanyard.
Here are thousands of meals, she said,
and here is clothing and a good education.
And here is your lanyard, I replied,
which I made with a little help from a counselor.

Here is a breathing body and a beating heart,
strong legs, bones and teeth,
and two clear eyes to read the world, she whispered,
and here, I said, is the lanyard I made at camp.
And here, I wish to say to her now,
is a smaller gift—not the worn truth

that you can never repay your mother,
but the rueful admission that when she took
the two-tone lanyard from my hand,
I was as sure as a boy could be
that this useless, worthless thing I wove
out of boredom would be enough to make us even.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

stressed

it's mothers day; the rest of the family is off to Newport News for A's soccer game. I'm sad not to be with them; but am getting some work done in a quiet house before heading to church...

yesterday I was running some errands, and had a long drive through country/farmland. it was a beautiful day--and a really peaceful drive.

I was thinking, praying, reflecting--and I realized that these days I am stressed most of the time. I don't like that. I was thinking back to life before family and pastoring and a mortgage and cars that don't run. I was rarely stressed. (I was poor and selfish, but pretty relaxed.)

I don't want to change my life--I love my family more than anything, love Convergence, (and hoping for a new car soon)--but I want--no need--to be less stressed. thinking about some ways to address that--yoga, better job scheduling prayer and silence, exercising.

something to think about...

Friday, May 08, 2009

Is President Obama a Christian?

A friend sent me a message in response to my post on the National Day of Prayer, with a different thought...wondering whether the President is really a Christian; and stating that they thought the President was moving our nation towards secularism. I want to honor my friend's anonymity, but thought I'd share my response:

I understand your perspective--but I think we sometimes have different ideas of what a Christian should do to prove their faith in a particular role.

President Bush claimed to be a Christian, often quoted Scripture, and usually lined up with what the religious right wanted. But I felt that his use of Scripture was usually done to support his actions--including acts of war and violence that I believe were often un-Christian. He often misquoted and misinterpreted (and I think twisted) scripture to give support to his arguments.

I thought it was very interesting than in an interview after he left office, he said this when asked if the Bible was literally true:

"You know. Probably not. ... No, I'm not a literalist, but I think you can learn a lot from it, but I do think that the New Testament for example is ... has got ... You know, the important lesson is 'God sent a son,"' Bush said.

He also said that he prays to the same God as those with different religious beliefs.

"I do believe there is an almighty that is broad and big enough and loving enough that can encompass a lot of people," Bush said. (From a Fox News interview)

I imagine many evangelicals cringed at these comments. I was glad to hear them; I think they were honest.

I know that many question Obama's faith because of his views on abortion. While I don't completely agree with him there; that's not enough to make me question his faith. I don't think we can use any one issue as a litmus test. (I'm not saying you are doing this--but I know many who do).

I have read Obama's books, and I believe Obama wants to serve and help and care for all people. I think he is for peace and health and opportunity for all people. These are values that line up well with Jesus, in my opinion.

As for his faith, I think we start with his own words:

"So one Sunday, I put on one of the few clean jackets I had, and went over to Trinity United Church of Christ on 95th Street on the South Side of Chicago. And I heard Reverend Jeremiah A. Wright deliver a sermon called "The Audacity of Hope."

"And during the course of that sermon, he introduced me to someone named Jesus Christ. I learned that my sins could be redeemed. I learned that those things I was too weak to accomplish myself, He would accomplish with me if I placed my trust in Him. And in time, I came to see faith as more than just a comfort to the weary or a hedge against death, but rather as an active, palpable agent in the world and in my own life.

"It was because of these newfound understandings that I was finally able to walk down the aisle of Trinity one day and affirm my Christian faith. It came about as a choice, and not an epiphany. I didn't fall out in church, as folks sometimes do. The questions I had didn't magically disappear. The skeptical bent of my mind didn't suddenly vanish. But kneeling beneath that cross on the South Side, I felt I heard God's spirit beckoning me. I submitted myself to His will, and dedicated myself to discovering His truth and carrying out His works." [Speech, 6/23/07]

As for his moving the country toward secularism; perhaps. I don't think he is a fan of the religious right, and its exclusivity. (Neither am I, as I'm sure you know).

But even as a Christian, he is the President to all people, regardless of beliefs, and in that role, has a responsibility to represent them all equally. So I don't think he's moving towards secularism, but toward inclusiveness and equality.

I have a diverse group of friends in the Church, with a wide range of perspectives. I'm learning to share and listen--without feeling like I've got to argue or convince others that we are right.

so I hope I don't come across as argumentative. I feel strongly about my opinions, but realize others do too, and want to respect that.

national prayer day

ok, it's been a while since i got into anything controversial; but here goes. Evangelical Christians are up in arms because President Obama did not have an official white house ceremony for the National Day of Prayer.

The white house issued a statement that the President would spend time in prayer as he does each day, and the president issued a proclamation about the National Day of Prayer. But Republican Congressman Randy Forbes, co-chairman of the Congressional Prayer Caucus, said, "Hopefully we'll have millions of people around the country that will make up for the void we see at the White House on the National Day of Prayer."

Void? It appears to me that many people are more concerned with this being a public event than they are with people actually praying. Personally, I'd rather have a president who prays than one who tells others to pray.

Also ironic that many of those upset are baptists, or at least evangelicals, who advocate separation of church and state. It seems that when some people talk about this separation; they want government to leave their religion alone, but they should be allowed to insert their religion into government.

we should pray and love and act to influence people with the love of Jesus, not force it upon them through government sponsored events. Instead of complaining, blogging, facebooking, and calling news conferences to complain about how terrible it was to not observe this event publicly--how about spending that time PRAYING!

And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
--Matthew 6:5-6

my birthday

yesterday was my 44th birthday. I think. Jamie sent out evites for a birthday party next week that said I was turning 43. She blamed it on me; said I told her so. But I refuse to take the blame--I mean, I'm confused...it's her job to not be confused (anyone know the movie reference there?)

It was a great day. It started with an early breakfast with Josh at McDonald's. Josh is one of my best friends--we always have a great time. we talked for a couple hours and could have gone on, but I needed to get home. we watched the first couple episodes of an internet show called Words. (You've got to check it out--incredibly funny.)

When I got back Brady greeted me at the door. Jamie and Cash were in bed--he was up at 7 but had fallen back asleep.

Brady and I had breakfast--it was a wonderful time. He was in a good mood--smiling and laughing as we munched on Captain Crunch. Halfway through breakfast he reached out and pulled my arm toward him, then hugged me for a minute. Those are the best moments.

I spent most of the day with the boys while Jamie and Ashley were out. We wrestled, bowled in the hallway, read books, listened to Johnny Cash and Bruce Springsteen, watched the greatest basketball game ever played (GMU over UConn, 2006)...it was a great day.

I got some rare one-on-one with Cash; he woke up from his nap before Brady. I took him into our room and we lay down on the bed next to each other. Then he climbed up on my chest and lay down on top of me; another beautiful moment.

I watched the movie The Wrestler while the boys napped; very powerful--fantastic performance by Mickey Rourke.

After the ladies were home and the boys were in bed, Jamie, Ash and I started to watch a movie together. I was hoping to enjoy some time with them, but I fell asleep during the movie. what can I say, I'm middle aged.

It was an exhausting day; but a great one. happy birthday to me.

Monday, April 27, 2009

another great poem from Billy Collins

I Chop Some Parsley While Listening To Art Blakey's Version Of "Three Blind Mice"

And I start wondering how they came to be blind.
If it was congenital, they could be brothers and sister,
and I think of the poor mother
brooding over her sightless young triplets.

Or was it a common accident, all three caught
in a searing explosion, a firework perhaps?
If not,
if each came to his or her blindness separately,

how did they ever manage to find one another?
Would it not be difficult for a blind mouse
to locate even one fellow mouse with vision
let alone two other blind ones?

And how, in their tiny darkness,
could they possibly have run after a farmer's wife
or anyone else's wife for that matter?
Not to mention why.

Just so she could cut off their tails
with a carving knife, is the cynic's answer,
but the thought of them without eyes
and now without tails to trail through the moist grass

or slip around the corner of a baseboard
has the cynic who always lounges within me
up off his couch and at the window
trying to hide the rising softness that he feels.

By now I am on to dicing an onion
which might account for the wet stinging
in my own eyes, though Freddie Hubbard's
mournful trumpet on "Blue Moon,"

which happens to be the next cut,
cannot be said to be making matters any better.

Billy Collins

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Joel Stein Contemplates Circumcision (For His Son)

Great piece from Time:

Joel Stein Contemplates Circumcision (For His Son)

I knew having a child would force me to examine my life, but I didn't expect to have to start with my penis. When my wife and I found out we were having a boy, everyone asked if we were going to circumcise him. All I knew was that circumcision is something the U.S. does and Europe doesn't and is therefore awesome. Our penises are clean and sleek and new like Frank Gehry skyscrapers, while theirs are crumbling, ancient edifices inhabited by fat old men in hats.

But when I thought about it, there was something disturbing about the fact that someone had chopped off part of my penis — a part that not only had nerve endings and a protective function but also could have made me look bigger. When I presented these arguments to my lovely wife Cassandra, she told me to shut up. Her argument was largely based on aesthetics and involved a lot of detailed talk about the surprising number of men she had dated. It's hard to win a debate when you're busy covering your ears and singing to yourself.

I argued that our son would not feel embarrassed either way, since compared with American babies in the 1960s, when 90% got snipped, about half of newborns are now deforeskinned — and only about 30% of California infants. I went on Facebook to ask if being made fun of in the locker room was apocryphal. What I learned is that even Facebook users disapprove of making parental decisions on Facebook. And kids probably don't make fun of one another, since the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that only 69% of circumcised and 65% of uncircumcised adolescents know which one they are. Also, you don't need to be Don Rickles to respond to someone's mockery of your foreskin with a casual "Dude, why are you staring at my penis?"

All I knew was that this is clearly not a decision I should be making for another human being. What school he attends, what he eats, which bouncy seat he should bounce in — sure. Whether to alter your genitals for aesthetic reasons is a question meant for your mid-20s at Burning Man.

Still, I knew this decision was going to be made now or never, so I started asking every medical professional, woman and gay man what kind of penis they preferred, which, to my shock, got me a lot of dinner invitations. Though there seemed to be a slight aesthetic preference for not wearing a hat and a slight functional preference for keeping one on, no one had a really good argument for giving your baby plastic surgery. A pediatrician told me the sole reason he circumcised his son was so that the kid looked like him. If my son looks at my penis and the biggest difference he notices is foreskin, I have far more serious problems. Plus, if I wanted my son to look like me, I wouldn't have worked so hard to marry someone better-looking than I am.

It turns out, though, that there's an enormous group of people who would argue passionately for my son's foreskin. Francis Crick and Jonas Salk were among the Nobel laureates who signed a petition to the World Court to end circumcision. The last week of March was Genital Integrity Awareness Week, which included a march from the White House to the Capitol, which, while not far in miles, is an eternity when measured in baby foreskins. This cause is so real, it has its own ribbon. There's even a group called Jews Against Circumcision, made up almost exclusively of Jews whose parents no longer talk to them.

The antisnipping crusaders argue that the ancient Greeks rejected this violent tribal custom of the Jews and Muslims; hardly anyone practices it anymore besides those groups and Americans. They argue that the Jews created it as a way either to exclude women from their club or to ritualize the sacrifice of the firstborn male. They say it was brought to the U.S. in Victorian times only as a means of reducing masturbation by limiting sensation, in what has to be the biggest failed medical experiment in history.

Cassandra would not hear any of this. She felt strongly that our son should feel Jewish and that when she bathes him, she shouldn't have to touch his penis too much. And then last month, a study from Africa showed that circumcision greatly reduces the chances of catching a sexually transmitted disease. And I had lost my argument.

So in a few weeks, I'm going to buy some bagels, call a mohel who is also a pediatric surgeon and believes in local anesthetic, and do something that I'm pretty sure is wrong. I have a horrible feeling that all of parenthood is like this.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Forgetfulness by Billy Collins

borrowing the idea from my friend Julie, here is a wonderful (and frighteningly appropriate) poem from my favorite poet, Billy Collins:

Forgetfulness

by Billy Collins

The name of the author is the first to go
followed obediently by the title, the plot,
the heartbreaking conclusion, the entire novel
which suddenly becomes one you have never read, never even heard of,

as if, one by one, the memories you used to harbor
decided to retire to the southern hemisphere of the brain,
to a little fishing village where there are no phones.

Long ago you kissed the names of the nine muses goodbye
and watched the quadratic equation pack its bag,
and even now as you memorize the order of the planets,

something else is slipping away, a state flower perhaps,
the address of an uncle, the capital of Paraguay.

Whatever it is you are struggling to remember,
it is not poised on the tip of your tongue
or even lurking in some obscure corner of your spleen.

It has floated away down a dark mythological river
whose name begins with an L as far as you can recall

on your own way to oblivion where you will join those
who have even forgotten how to swim and how to ride a bicycle.

No wonder you rise in the middle of the night
to look up the date of a famous battle in a book on war.
No wonder the moon in the window seems to have drifted
out of a love poem that you used to know by heart.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

differences

OK, I'm writing again. Although I'm afraid it's been so long that there is no one left to read. Nonetheless, I'm going to try to get back in the game.

I came across this from Andrew Perriman at Open Source Theology:

I’m very conscious of the fact that pretty much all of our divisions and disagreements arise because we find it almost impossible - emotionally - to choose one path through the forest without denigrating all those who choose to follow a different path.


This is something I've been thinking and talking about when it comes to Convergence. This dream that we can be a faith community made up of people with different ideas, different interpretations, different takes on issues, different callings and passions.


I had lunch with a friend and Convergence member last week. We have different perspectives on an issue facing churches these days. I told her my hope was that she and I could tell each other our perspective without feeling the need to convince the other to agree; that we could listen and seek to understand one another; that we could be open to the possibilities of another perspective; and live and fellowship and serve in community, even when we don't agree.


As a pastor, I don't want to build a church where everyone agrees with me (I'm well-aware that I'm often not right!) But I do want a church where people are free to explore, dialog, hold and share different opinions, perspectives and interpretations; and that the common ground is to know and experience and love and reflect Jesus.

Friday, January 02, 2009

Cullop year-end letter

2008 was a wonderful year. Ashley (13) was transformed from a pretty girl into a beautiful young lady. In the spring she was selected to play soccer on the Stafford Falcons in the classic division. The team made it all the way to the championship before losing in a shoot-out 4-3. In both the quarterfinal and semifinal games, Ashley scored the winning goals. Recently she was selected to play on the Fury, a Fredericksburg travel team, starting in the spring.

Ashley continues to do well in home-schooling. She participates in a co-op with friends and competes in a home-school bowling league.  She still reads all the time. She is active in the youth group at New Hope, and does a lot at Convergence (where Todd pastors) as well.

Brady (2½) is talking all the time, and has wonderful manners. He says “please” and “thank you,” says “bless you” when someone sneezes, and often answers “yes sir,” to both me and Jamie (we just can’t get him to say “yes, ma’am!”). He also loves to pray.

Brady loves being outside, playing games on the computer (at Playhouse Disney) and watching Disney movies (Cars is his favorite.) He loves music; I’ve now got him yelling “Bruuuce” when a Springsteen song comes on. His favorite song is John Lennon’s “Beautiful Boy;” I sing it to him and he calls it our song. Brady also sings the “ABC Song” all the way through.

Cash (15 months) also loves music—We often have dance parties when Jamie and Ash are out—the boys and I dance to the Imagination Movers—a great band who plays kids’ music.

Cash is walking, and trying to talk. He follows Brady and imitates his big brother. He loves to play with toys that require him to do something—push buttons, take things apart and put them together.

Both boys love their grandparents. Grandma Helen (and sometimes Grandpa Jerry) comes down to watch them once or twice a week. Brady has always taken to Grandpa Jerry; Cash is definitely a Grandma’s boy. Both boys really took to Grandma Vicki, Grandma Dee and Grandpa Lyle in Washington. They are lucky to have such great grandparents!

Jamie has done wonderfully with Stampin’ Up this year. She has been doing more demonstrations, shows and parties; and really has a blast. Thanks to her, we’re sending Christmas cards for the first time in years. She has made over 100 beautiful cards for us and for her customers.  I’m hoping she can keep growing her business and who knows, maybe in a couple years I’ll become a stay-home dad!

Todd is busy with work, but his schedule is flexible so he gets to spend some time with the kids each day, and is usually home for at least two full days a week.  Convergence is doing well, we have built a great sense of community, and we’re growing and building great relationships with artists.   

We all got to do some traveling this year—Todd went to Faith and Arts events in New York, Austin, and Grand Rapids for work; and took his annual trip to Richmond with his college buddies for the CAA basketball tournament, which George Mason won!

Jamie went to VA Beach for Stampin’ Up, Williamsburg and Richmond for home-school events, and Las Vegas to celebrate her birthday with her mom.

In July we took a road trip to Nashville; Lake Martin, AL; and Atlanta to see family and friends. We also flew to Washington State to spend Thanksgiving with Jamie’s family.

Life is fun, challenging, very busy and never dull. We are very blessed with our family, two great church communities, and more wonderful friends than we can name. Thank you for your love and support—we’re always up for visitors!

                                    Much love,

Todd, Jamie, Ashley, Brady, and Cash

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Phyllis Tickle; The Great Emergence

January 1st. New Years Day. Like many others; I'm going to try to do a better job of writing this year. and reading. two things I don't do near enough. 

I have made a lot of progress cleaning out the clutter in my home office. is it obvious I don't really have much to say today?

I'm sick with a cold; not thinking real clearly, don't have much creativity. so I'll stop, and share something good from Phyllis Tickle. I just ordered her new book, The Great Emergence:

Apparently and for some not-very-clear reason, it is incumbent upon the faithful in every new epoch or changing era of Christian history to re-define what we mean when we use the words "church" and/or "Church." But even if some strenuous re-thinking and re-stating had not been required during history's previous turning points, it none the less would be required for emergence Christianity. There is no question about the fact that this time around everything-whether sacred or secular and with no holds barred-is up for scrutiny and that most of everything, once scrutinized, is up for re-defining, including "church" and/or "Church."

For quite some time now, analysts and pastors and observant Christian laity alike have known and said that church is not a place, nor is it a thing. Historically, church was probably conceived of in the popular imagination as a thing several centuries before that same shared imagination began to think of it as a place. Of those two, the notion of place as definition is probably the more debilitating, but unquestionably it had also come to be the more dominant of the two during the last century. But as a conceptual definition, neither place nor thing alone is strong enough to support much vitality beyond loyalty to itself.

you can read the rest of her post here.

Monday, December 15, 2008

update

I'm completely ashamed that it's been a month since I wrote. Crap. I keep saying I want to write more, but life never slows down and I forget, and put it off, and suddenly it's a month later.

It's been a good month. We had a great vacation to Washington (state) to see Jamie's family. My brother-in-law Chad got us tickets to the Redskins--Seahawks game (the only game the Skins have won in quite a while).

The kids got to see and play with cousins; it was great. 

Work is good, it's been a busy month, but will hopefully slow down during the holidays. 

I'm going to update stuff on the blog--books, movies, etc.

I have been keeping up with facebook more; look for me there. As always, I'll try to write more soon!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Keith Olberman on Prop. 8

I encourage you to check this out--video and transcript of Keith Olberman's impassioned comment on Proposition 8.

My purpose in posting this is not to promote debate, or even discussion (although I'm open to it). I'm not asking you to tell me what you think. (I already know how most of my friends think about this issue--funny how I have friends who really love God on both sides of this issue).  I'm just encouraging you to listen. and think. and pray.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

President-Elect Obama's Victory Speech

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

It's the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen; by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the very first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different; that their voice could be that difference.

It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled - Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.

Its the answer that led those who have been told for so long by so many to be cynical, and fearful, and doubtful of what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.

Its been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to America.

I just received a very gracious call from Senator McCain. He fought long and hard in this campaign, and he's fought even longer and harder for the country he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine, and we are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader. I congratulate him and Governor Palin for all they have achieved, and I look forward to working with them to renew this nations promise in the months ahead.

I want to thank my partner in this journey, a man who campaigned from his heart and spoke for the men and women he grew up with on the streets of Scranton and rode with on that train home to Delaware, the Vice President-elect of the United States, Joe Biden.

I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last sixteen years, the rock of our family and the love of my life, our nation's next First Lady, Michelle Obama. Sasha and Malia, I love you both so much, and you have earned the new puppy thats coming with us to the White House. And while she's no longer with us, I know my grandmother is watching, along with the family that made me who I am. I miss them tonight, and know that my debt to them is beyond measure.

To my campaign manager David Plouffe, my chief strategist David Axelrod, and the best campaign team ever assembled in the history of politics - you made this happen, and I am forever grateful for what youve sacrificed to get it done.

But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to - it belongs to you.

I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn't start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington - it began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston.

It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give five dollars and ten dollars and twenty dollars to this cause. It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generations apathy; who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep; from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on the doors of perfect strangers; from the millions of Americans who volunteered, and organized, and proved that more than two centuries later, a government of the people, by the people and for the people has not perished from this Earth. This is your victory.

I know you didn't do this just to win an election and I know you didnt do it for me. You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime - two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century. Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us. There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after their children fall asleep and wonder how they'll make the mortgage, or pay their doctors bills, or save enough for college. There is new energy to harness and new jobs to be created; new schools to build and threats to meet and alliances to repair.

The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America - I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you - we as a people will get there.

There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as President, and we know that government cant solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And above all, I will ask you join in the work of remaking this nation the only way its been done in America for two-hundred and twenty-one years - block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.

What began twenty-one months ago in the depths of winter must not end on this autumn night. This victory alone is not the change we seek - it is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were. It cannot happen without you.

So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism; of service and responsibility where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves, but each other. Let us remember that if this financial crisis taught us anything, its that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers - in this country, we rise or fall as one nation; as one people.

Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long. Let us remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House - a party founded on the values of self-reliance, individual liberty, and national unity. Those are values we all share, and while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress. As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, We are not enemies, but friends, though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn - I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too.

And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of our world - our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand. To those who would tear this world down - we will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security - we support you. And to all those who have wondered if Americas beacon still burns as bright - tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from our the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity, and unyielding hope.

For that is the true genius of America - that America can change. Our union can be perfected. And what we have already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one thats on my mind tonight is about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta. Shes a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing - Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.

She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldnt vote for two reasons - because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin.

And tonight, I think about all that shes seen throughout her century in America - the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we cant, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can.

At a time when womens voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can.

When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs and a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.

When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.

She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that We Shall Overcome. Yes we can.

A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination. And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change. Yes we can.

America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves - if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time - to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth - that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we cant, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people:

Yes We Can. Thank you, God bless you, and may God Bless the United States of America.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

no baseball

The pic is old; but I like it. John and Kenny at the Nationals final home game of the season, which was rained out. We didn't get to watch baseball, but had some good beer and food.


Saturday, November 01, 2008

Bruce Springsteen, Vote for Change Rally, October 4, 2008

"Hello Philly,

"I am glad to be here today for this voter registration drive and for Barack Obama, the next President of the United States.

"I've spent 35 years writing about America, its people, and the meaning of the American Promise. The Promise that was handed down to us, right here in this city from our founding fathers, with one instruction: Do your best to make these things real. Opportunity, equality, social and economic justice, a fair shake for all of our citizens, the American idea, as a positive influence, around the world for a more just and peaceful existence. These are the things that give our lives hope, shape, and meaning. They are the ties that bind us together and give us faith in our contract with one another.

"I've spent most of my creative life measuring the distance between that American promise and American reality. For many Americans, who are today losing their jobs, their homes, seeing their retirement funds disappear, who have no healthcare, or who have been abandoned in our inner cities. The distance between that promise and that reality has never been greater or more painful.

"I believe Senator Obama has taken the measure of that distance in his own life and in his work. I believe he understands, in his heart, the cost of that distance, in blood and suffering, in the lives of everyday Americans. I believe as president, he would work to restore that promise to so many of our fellow citizens who have justifiably lost faith in its meaning. After the disastrous administration of the past 8 years, we need someone to lead us in an American reclamation project. In my job, I travel the world, and occasionally play big stadiums, just like Senator Obama. I've continued to find, wherever I go, America remains a repository of people's hopes, possibilities, and desires, and that despite the terrible erosion to our standing around the world, accomplished by our recent administration, we remain, for many, a house of dreams. One thousand George Bushes and one thousand Dick Cheneys will never be able to tear that house down.

"They will, however, be leaving office, dropping the national tragedies of Katrina, Iraq, and our financial crisis in our laps. Our sacred house of dreams has been abused, looted, and left in a terrible state of disrepair. It needs care; it needs saving, it needs defending against those who would sell it down the river for power or a quick buck. It needs strong arms, hearts, and minds. It needs someone with Senator Obama's understanding, temperateness, deliberativeness, maturity, compassion, toughness, and faith, to help us rebuild our house once again. But most importantly, it needs us. You and me. To build that house with the generosity that is at the heart of the American spirit. A house that is truer and big enough to contain the hopes and dreams of all of our fellow citizens. That is where our future lies. We will rise or fall as a people by our ability to accomplish this task. Now I don't know about you, but I want that dream back, I want my America back, I want my country back.

"So now is the time to stand with Barack Obama and Joe Biden, roll up our sleeves, and come on up for the rising."

Monday, October 27, 2008

Brian McLaren--Obama, Part 5

Why I'm Voting for Barack Obama, and Why I Hope You Will Too, part 5
by Brian McLaren.

In this post, Brian addresses abortion.

(I know I skipped part 4, you can read it here--it's about the environment.)

hello again

Sorry (if anyone is out there) that I haven't written in a while. Just been really busy and haven't made it a priority. I'm attempting again to remedy that...

life is great, but crazy busy. church is going well, new people are coming around and joining, including some artists. we are in the midst of a series on the Sermon on the Mount, where artists are interpreting and creating and leading us in worship...

check out the Convergence blog to read more...

I've been in an exhausting conversation with a friend who adamantly opposes Obama, basically saying that Christians who support Obama are defying God. 

Four years ago, eight years ago, actually every election since I could first vote in 1984; I have voted Republican, because I was told that Republicans championed Christian values and that Democrats were Godless liberals.

As my thinking has opened up in recent years; and seeing much in the current administration, and our country, that does not reflect God; my political views have changed.

If you are a Christian (or even if not) I encourage you to look at the ProLife, ProObama page from the Matthew 25 website for a different perspective on Christians, the election, and abortion...also see this Put Away Falsehood page from Matthew 25 that addresses a lot of, well, falsehoods about Obama and his positions.

Another good site is Clergy for Obama.

As a pastor, I realize I am taking a risk in endorsing a candidate. I do not do so from the pulpit (we don't us a pulpit anyway :-) )

But we have a very open and diverse community at Convergence, and I think I communicate an attitude of acceptance and respect for all people and all opinions. I would rather us have conversation about politics, and learn from one another, than create an atmosphere where people are afraid to be honest or feel judged if they have a different perspective.

Monday, October 06, 2008

4-1

great story about the Redskins, who have gone from the team expected to finish last in the division to one of the best in the league.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

election and abortion

I've been in some good conversations lately about the election, and the typical conservative Christian perspective that you can't be a Christian and vote for a pro-choice candidate.

here are some good blogs that address this issue:


McLaren--Obama, pt. 3

Why I'm Voting for Barack Obama...(part 3)

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Redskins 26 Cowboys 24

enough politics...onto something really important--The Redskins beat the Cowboys!

great day today; church at New Hope this morning with my family, then a reception for the current exhibit in our gallery, with artist Carl Lennartson.

worship tonight was good. we talked about the atonement--looking at four different models or theories, how none of them is complete on their own, and how a theology based on more than one model can change how we see God.

Here are summaries we looked at--taken from a variety of sources:

Models of Atonement

Christus Victor

Atonement is about the incarnation of Jesus into this world, and of participation and sharing in the suffering of humanity, taking them to the cross, so that God triumphs over evil and all of creation is restored and recreated.

Satisfaction

This model is grounded in the concept of personal honor found in the European feudal culture. Sin dishonors God. A price must be paid to satisfy God and restore his divine honor. The only penalty suitable to God was Christ’s obedience to death.

Moral Influence

Jesus’ self-giving love, expressed in his death on the cross, leads us to love God and love others fully, giving our lives back to God.

Penal Substitution

Christ, by his own sacrificial choice, was punished in the place of sinners, thus satisfying the demands of justice so God can justly forgive sins.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

will they debate?

Great piece from Joe Garofoli of the San Francisco Chronicle about McCain's debate tactics.

McCain says he doesn't want to debate because this is a time for America to focus on the crisis, not politics--this whole strategy is a political tactic.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

election stuff

Why I Am Voting for Obama, and Why I Hope You Will, Too 
by Brian Mclaren

some friends are challenging me to dig deeper and explain why I prefer Barack Obama in the upcoming election. To be honest, I don't have the time to explain it all in my words. Between church and the house and my kids, I'm lucky to find a few minutes here and there to blog.

My purpose in this blog is to express what I'm thinking and feeling and doing and pondering...I blogged a couple times about the unethical practices of the McCain campaign; a couple of my friends told me I shouldn't pay attention to that stuff, but look at the candidates and their platforms. 

Fair enough...but I also think how these men (and women) are campaigning says a lot about their character, and for me, that is an important factor...so for those of you who tell me I shouldn't complain and that I need to spend more time and energy explaining why I prefer Obama--sorry, that's just not the direction I want to go. 

It's my blog.  (this is me jokingly sticking my tongue out) There is enough written out there about all this, some of it slanted, but some of it very accurate. It seems clear to me, even from my friends who are challenging me--that we all prefer to read people and pieces that reflect our perspective, but that we tend to ignore or dismiss those that don't.

I'm trying to read a lot, from different perspectives, but not seeing much that changes my mind. The link above goes to an article I found myself agreeing with.

so...I'm glad to discuss, but I don't want this blog to be about the election. I just happened to post a couple times on stuff that struck me...the next post will probably be about fantasy football or attending a couple upcoming Washington Nationals games.

Thanks for reading! 

(Veritable--I disagree about your words carrying more weight anonymously...I'm more likely to listen if there is some level of trust...but I am curious and always enjoy a mystery. If you'll give me a clue; I promise to not reveal your identity publicly, since you want to remain anonymous)




Thursday, September 11, 2008

how can people believe this stuff!


I used to be very conservative; I usually voted Republican. I have shifted quite a bit, but I still think I can be pretty objective. But I am outraged at the lying and manipulation being done by the McCain campaign. It's embarrassing.

I'm trying to teach my daughter about the political process. what do I say to her, when people who claim to be Christians, and who should be setting an example for how we treat others, are committing such horrible acts?


Wednesday, September 10, 2008

lies

OK, I don't want to just write about the election...but I am really amazed at the dishonesty of the Republican ticket. I'm not saying the democrats are squeaky clean...but I haven't heard anything like this on their end.

Check out this from an article from the AP:

Republican presidential nominee John McCain and his running mate, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, equated lawmakers' requests for funding for special projects with corruption on Wednesday even though Palin herself has requested nearly $200 million in so-called "earmarks" this year.

later on:

Palin routinely claims to have put an end to Alaska's infamous "bridge to nowhere," even though she supported the project during her gubernatorial campaign and turned against it only when it became a national embarrassment and Congress threatened to cut its funding.

In this article, we see how McCain drastically twists an Obama vote on sex education. Obama was voting for legislation that would give schools the ability to warn young children about inappropriate touching and sexual predators. McCain now runs an ad that says Obama wanted to teach comprehensive sex education to kindergartners--a gross distortion.

I am convinced that many conservative Christians in politics (ie. Palin, Bush and others) really believe they are on a mission for God. They are so convinced of the righteousness of their mission, that they have no problem lying to accomplish their goals. that's scary.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

hypocrisy from the right

Check out this clip of Jon Stewart pointing out hypocrisy on the political right, from both politicians and media.