What I'm Missing

December 2020.

The last ten months have been like something none of us would have imagined. I know we've all lost a lot. 

For me, the biggest loss is my kids' sports.

For the last 17 years, my greatest joy in life has been watching Ashley, Brady and Cash play soccer,  baseball, football and basketball.

With both boys playing multiple sports for the last eight years, most of my free time has been spent taking them to practices and games--coaching them in baseball, cheering them on in the other sports. 

I love watching them practice and play. I've tried to teach and coach and train my boys to work hard and be good teammates. I think it's had a good impact on them. But while I do it for them, I benefit just as much, as those times have brought me great joy. 

I almost always stay and watch them practice, rather than dropping them off. I enjoy watching them work and talking to other dads. Even more, I enjoy going to their games, cheering them on, celebrating with them when they win, and encouraging them when they lose. 

But that has all been put on hold. I know it has an impact on them, and on me. I feel that loss every day. The activity that brought me my greatest joy is gone, for now. I'm trying to do a better job of finding other activities to take the place of those that have been temporarily lost.

Grandma and Grandpa gave the boys an early Christmas present of new bikes; so we're trying to ride more. We enjoy hiking, so we're trying to do more of that. 

Both boys are taking hunter safety classes so we can start hunting; and in the spring, we'll do more fishing. I hope we can resume sports before long, but until then I'm going to find ways to keep us all active. 

Like all of us, I am mourning what is lost. And while it is healthy to grieve, it's not good to wallow in that grief. So I'm trying to look up, find positives in the midst of the difficulties, and work to find the joy that isn't coming so easily these days.